Tag Archives: Single & Looking

Top 5 Tips For Dating In An Online World: Guest Post

Posted on by
Reply

Online dating is becoming more mainstream. We don’t really ask anymore whether it is an acceptable way to seek love or companionship. Instead, questions come up with singles wondering what are the key things to know about how to have a positive dating experience when using the sites.

For this very reason, I reached out to my friend Sarah Fanning, an advice columnist from Lovestruck in London, England for her best advice for my friends – my Citizens of the Online DatingToad Kingdom. 

We both agreed on many of the basics with dating sites: honesty, integrity, chivalry, courtship … And Sarah was kind enough to write a guest post for us here in the Toad Kissing world. Friends, please meet the lovely and smart Ms. Sarah Fanning.

Sarah says …

Online dating has become almost a necessity in today’s fast-paced world. There are a multitude of sites to choose from that promise to match you with your soul mate. Being a traditional girl myself, I’d like to provide you five rules for traditional dating in an online world:

  1. Prepare Your Profile: Remember to ”sell” yourself when writing your profile because it is the first thing that someone sees when clicking on your name. Take a few minutes of preparation and think about what makes you who you are. List your most attractive characteristics. Do not focus on your shortcomings or flaws. This can be an extreme show of insecurity.
  2. Be Safe: There are a lot of strange people in the world who hide behind the internet. When dabbling in the cyber world, be very careful. Never give your full name or your home address. Make sure pictures you post have been cropped to cut out any identifying information such as license plate numbers or street names that may be visible in the background. Photos that include your children should never be included in an online profile.
  3. Be Honest: Most men will say that their dream woman is a Barbie doll or playboy model and women say that they want a Brad Pitt lookalike. The truth is that everyone is looking for that other person who can make them feel good about themselves and happy to be together. Focus on what characteristics of a person you are looking for, such as enjoying a good sense of humour rather than just physical attractions. Do not lie about yourself, especially your age, height, and weight. You will eventually meet this other person who may not appreciate your lack of honesty.
  4. Use Recent Photos: There is nothing worse than meeting someone who scarcely resembles the picture that they have been associating with the possible person of their dreams. If you post a photo is that is more than six months old, be sure to state that. But make sure your profile photo was taken within the last three months.
  5. Remember: Conversation is Key: Come prepared for your first conversation. Do not just talk about yourself. Ask questions that leave room for further discussion. Be sure not to make it a venting session of complaints. Show the other person that you are lively and know how to laugh at a good joke, but you are responsible and secure in your own right.

I hope you enjoy these tips from the London dating scene. Please stop over and show Sarah your appreciation at http://www.lovestruck.com/london/

About Sarah:  Sarah currently works for [Lovestruck] and completely understands the nerves that people get when they experience something new like dating online. It can be scary and intimidating but with a positive attitude, you might meet that special someone. For those who are unaware, Lovestruck is a UK online dating website.

Coming next week … my best answers to the 5 Top Reader Questions in Online Dating

xoxo

Heidi Lee

5 Summer Self Improvement Tips For Single Ladies

Posted on by
Reply

Being single couldn’t feel worse right about now. We’re heading straight into Couple-Season where the happily-attached seem to flaunt their abundance of love and joy on every park bench and around every corner. It’s a single girl’s nightmare, but what makes it worse is when it shows on your face.

Courtesy of AmandaLouise

I remember those feelings of dread before I met my own Prince Charming – the beach parties and the barbeques. Even worse – the wedding RSVP addressed to Heidi Lee with an empty space where my +1 should have been. But eventually I learned that those anxiety-packed events were actually opportunities to improve myself.

Now, now dear ones, I know – having a date for Cousin Alice’s wedding is more exciting then some stinking self-improvement ritual. But what if I were to tell you that a few fun self-improvement tactics will get you more summer dates? It’s sort of a bonus idea.

Remember, when you feel good and show confidence, you become more attractive – period. You’ll be amazed how many new people you will meet as a single at a friend’s barbeque simply by wearing a new shade of self-confidence. 

For my gentlemen readers – here is the point where you click away for Fantasy Stats – these tips are for ladies only …

5 Easy Summer Self-Improvement Tips For Single Ladies

  1. Get fitted: This is first tip on the list for a reason, girls. Our bodies change, and our bra size ad style from 3 years ago may not work as well with our new figure. Up a size or down – either way a properly fitted bra makes you look slimmer with the curves in the right place. Most of the Intimate stores will do the fitting free of charge, and the sales ladies are well trained on the styles for your body type. Same rules apply for your tank-inis too.
  2. Gloss up: Nothing like a perfectly tinted lip gloss with a hint of plumping action to help you feel a tad saucy. My personal favorite – Buxom Amber seems to fit almost any occasion.
  3. Get moving: Walk, jog, run – it really doesn’t matter. Being outdoors replenishes the VItamin D and freshens your skin. Double-duty tip because the exercise tightens your thighs and bum :) Just remember to wear the proper UV Protection for your skin type.
  4. Smarten up: Enroll in a summer class or workshop. Have you always wanted to learn tennis? What about painting? Hubby and I are heading to Chicago this summer for a Wine & Canvas class. Why not grab a couple of your single gal pals and  think of your own outing? At the very least, the experience will give you an interesting conversation topic for summer dates. Best case scenario – your future Prince Charming just happened to ignore my above request that men don’t read on, and he shows up in the same class asking to be the hot chick’s study partner (that’s you, by the way ;)
  5. Go naked: Oh behave – I mean naked with your foods. Check out the colors at your local farmers markets and stock your fridge with crisp fruits and veggies. Eating fresh, naked produce not only gives you an energy boost, it adds a little color to your cheeks.

There you have it, my innocent lovelies. Not only will you survive another singles-summer, you will thrive. It’s all about attitude, ladies. When you feel good about yourself, you are in a better position to meet the man of your dreams.  And trust me – he is looking for you right now as well. So get that sourpuss face out of his way and make yourself shine this summer.

And drop back by here to let me know when you meet him. I do RSVP to wedding invites :)

Please feel free to share any tips or tricks that work for you below in the comments.

xoxo,

Heidi Lee

 

 

Top 10 Online Dating Questions To Learn His Secrets Faster

Posted on by
8

Great work, ladies! You’re online dating and you’ve met Mr. Full of Possibilities through an Online Dating Site. But guess what, sweetheart? You’re eventually going to get to the dreaded Q&A session that inevitably comes from wanting to know more about Mr. Maybe The One.

Just so happens that Heidi Lee thought you may be struggling with this topic, so she reached within the Toad Kingdom and asked for my advice.

I’m Eric, and as hopefully a Frog rather than a Toad, I’m thrilled to be able to share a few pointers to help you in your journey.

First and most importantly – you don’t want questions too personal, too hard, too desperate, or how shall I say this? … well, too blunt.

However, you would also like to know what the guy is about, so you can cut him short if he’s a dud.

Be honest, ladies. How many guys have you asked about their favorite band? Dull!

More boring yet …”What do you do for a living?” Statistics show that men grow tired of answering the same-old questions on the first date, and they especially don’t like to be put into a corner about their careers.

Gals, you’re in luck. It just so happens that I AM one of those guys you might want to meet, and I’m here to share a few secrets with you.

The 10 Best Online Dating Questions To Learn His Secrets Faster

1.    What about me first caught your attention? This is a straight-forward question that will give the sincere/good guy the opportunity to shimmer in the sunlight, and the insincere/bad ones the invitation to bumble through their pre-written answers, and end up looking like a jerk. Make sure that you are talking to a real guy who has time to answer you.

2.    What is something that most women don’t understand about men? This will give you a hint, as to any past problems he’s had in relationships, as well as any unrealistic expectations or demands he tends to place on women. Let him tell you his insecurities, before finding them out yourself.

3.    What is the most exciting purchase you made this year? Mine was… Fights about finance area big deal breaker in all relationships. If you have a certain style of saving or spending money, it is probably a good idea to make sure that a guy can hang with that. Frugal partners don’t get along with spendthrifts, and vice versa. To throw him off, answer the question, before awaiting his turn.

4.    What does it take to achieve a good relationship? In other words, what are his values, goals, and interests in maintaining a close, intimate relationship? This question will also give you a hint as to his level of maturity, and what you could probably expect from a long-term relationship with him.

5.    If a relationship does not work out for you, how do you usually end it? This will tell you how much he is willing to invest in a partnership. Guys who are in it just for fun, don’t think about ending a relationship, as they have no plan of getting into one in the first place.

6.    What was your most embarrassing moment? Studies show that humor is essential in every relationship. You don’t have to be a comedian. However, it is important that you can at least laugh at yourself when the moment calls for it.

7.    What do you think is the best thing about being single? In other words, how ready is he to get off the market? It’s great to be content in bachelorhood. However, if he gushes over his lifestyle too much, he may not be willing to give it up. Just beware of this before investing any significant time.

8.    What is your idea of the perfect first date? Few questions can really get to the heart of romance within a guy more than this one. If you’re wondering if he is a ‘flowers and candlelight’ type of guy, or a ‘take you back to his apartment’ after the second drink? This is where you’ll get the first hint.

9.    Does your family live nearby? How often do you get to see them? Some partners are the family- type, and others are not. However, rarely will the two fit together in harmony, unless they both have similar ideas about what a family is. If you love your family, and want your partner to love them too; make sure he is a ‘family guy’.

10.  Can we swap tomorrow’s date for a different day? Easy going guys are the best type to have, especially for the women with kids (or planning to have them someday). It is important to know that a guy can roll with the punches, or in this case, that he can roll with a change of plans, which is frequently necessary when you have more than just two people to satisfy.

Try the questions out when you’re dreading the Q&A rounds with your would-be Prince Charmings. I can tell you for certain that a lady with interesting questions certainly catches my eye.

Happy Dating!

May Toad Of The Month

Posted on by
4

Spring is in full bloom in the Toad Kingdom of Online Dating which means that Toads are dangerously multiplying and seeking potential hosts to victimize. Head my warning – this month’s vile little creature is one of the most dangerous varieties …

Ladies, Beware!

Species Name: Toadus Bloatus Beer-Guttus

  • Common Name: Dud
  • Species Description: Camouflaged with primal charm and sincerity, this Toad’s receding hairline and lack of moral fiber are hidden by strategic comb-overs. He manages to hide his lack of depth behind a protruding belly and pretends men win by not only having the most toys but the biggest guts this side of Mt. Everest.
  • Mating Calls: Raw humor and a boisterous laugh, Bloatus makes calls like “Nice rack, Babe!” or ”How about a body shot?” sound endearing to unsuspecting hosts. The bullish croaks cause giggling and blushing in susceptible prey, and Bloatus is able to seal the deal with ”Winner buys the next round!” The mating call devolves upon deeper infestation when Bloatus’s croak morphs into a bellowing belch. A beer stench lingers in the air, and he is too busy looking at Internet Porn to excuse himself.
  • Habitat and Distribution: Researchers have found varieties of Bloatus Beer-Guttus in pool halls, truck stops, chat rooms, with countless clusters lurking in porn sites disguised as free online dating sites. Finding a partner/host is a secondary goal; this Toad prefers tawdry sex without the “C” word of any kind: commitment, compassion, cunnilingus.
  • Distinguishing Characteristics: Earthy, haven’t-bathed-for-a-week scent mingled with undertones of stale ale and cheap tobacco. Other Toad varieties struggle to understand how Bloatus seems to attract potential victims, yet his unexpected success is really about his Beer-Guggus-ness: There is something completely non-threatening about this type of Toad. In fact, from certain angles he looks more like a pincushion than a man, thus rendering him a rather harmless choice.
  • Symptoms of Infestation:  Bloatus ingratiates himself quickly with a willing host – his victim unaware of the danger of entertaining the novelty of this species. Infestation occurs in the host’s external environment rather than the internal immune system. She realizes the menace from the trail of beer cans that Bloatus uses as ashtrays – and the pull-my-finger humor becomes the most intelligent household conversation. Feelings of deep humilation and anger replace her initial adoration as Bloatus burrows himself more deeply. She devotes research to discover if the Internet Porn Computer Virus is more hazardous than the potential salmonella left from the Toad’s lack of attention to hygeine.  If left untreated, infestation may require a team of professional exterminators to rid the environment not only of Bloatus, but also his flatulent Knot of Toads* who replace the host’s dining room furniture with folding card tables and lawn chairs.

*A group of Toads is referred to as a Knot where as a group of Frogs is known as a Colony … interesting that Toads are tangled messes but frogs become a community …

Meet the other Toads …

Enjoy the first chapter of my upcoming memoir, The Art of Toad Kissing, to learn about how I kissed the toads so you won’t have to.

Extreme Profile Maker For Men LMAO!

Posted on by
Reply

A different kind of Extreme Profile Makeover! How’s this for getting creative with a Party Invitation?

I have to admit – this is creativity at its finest. Any of my readers want to take a bite out of this little froggy?

I’d love to see somebody actually use the 5 Steps to Toad-Proofing and Online Dating Profile like this … Hmmm … Do I hear a CONTEST in the works? Stay tuned …

Online Dating Bootcamp Extreme Profile Makeover II

Posted on by
2

Extreme Profile Makeover Unveiling! I do hope you all enjoy, and feel free to ask me any questions you may have about your own profile …

Recap: Our dear friend Ms. Dyna had an upbeat, young profile that was attracting the younger, less mature Toads – let’s just say Tadpoles. She is ~40 years old and wants an energetic partner with whom she can explore the Eurpoean Continent and all of its beauties. But with the adventurous spirit, she also needs maturity and depth.

To attract this type of partner, she needs to write to him – not to his son. The biggest challenges with her initial profile include:

  1. Heavily weighted with younger humor: Being funny is different than being witty, and and too much humor from a woman is a turn off for a man
  2. Minimal content around true hobbies and interests: She asks for someone with like interests, but she lists her interests as superhuman feats. Too distracting to know what she really wants.
  3. Too heavy of a Pet warning – While I normally say to leave the pets out of the essay, Dyna is an exception. Her puppy addiction is extreme, so it needed to be addressed. We left in just a hint of the furry friends, but we put the strong emphasis back onto the gorgeous lady.

Let’s see if we can give her a bit of sophistication while maintaining her youthful glow. We won’t lose all of her elements of Marvel Comics – that is simply a true part of who she is.

The New and Improved DynaMo

Edgy Canadian Secret Agent masquerading as an unassuming, Italian village-dwelling dog lover. Loves all things sweet in contrast to the salty wit and humor that comes from a love of writing. And while my perfect ideal Match may be a mad-scientist striving for the greater good for all humanity, I’d also like to meet a few simple Super-Heroes or Mutant à la X-Men.

Outdoor, scenic exercise like hiking and running help me maintain a healthy lifestyle on every day but Sunday. On Sunday, I celebrate “The Feast of a Canadian’s Sunday Brunch” which we Canadians hold sacred no matter what country we happen to be in. After such feasting I simply don’t have the motivation to leap tall buildings let alone run a marathon.  Perhaps a cozy couch and a good film-noir, indie, or foreign film on Sunday afternoon instead.
 
I’ve fallen in love with Italy – actually with Europe, so I ‘m not permanently ‘nailed down’ to my Italian village. I’d welcome corresponding with men in other European or other foreign regions, and I’m open to travel for the right connection. Who knows where life can take you, right?

While my quiet village is home at the moment, I also love the chaos of the big city. It fuels my energy and fascination with art and culture, and it inspires my writing. I’d love to meet someone who can cut loose at a rock concert but who would also enjoy a quiet stroll through a museum or a picnic/hike in the country. 

Last little note – My English Setters may shed their fur all over your trousers so I do keep a lint brush close by. The right man for me will appreciate that my dogs act as my wonderfully loyal confidantes – a necessity for any secret agent worth her weight in salt.

My question for you, if I were to offer to be your sidekick, which Super Hero would you be and why?

We’ve actually taken Dyna’s personality and heightened it by understanding how she lives her life. We’ve created an Invitation for her many suitors, and included all of the party details necessary to know if it is one that her Prince Charming might enjoy.

She also updated her photos to be flirty and trusting with just a hint of intrigue. She removed photos with sunglasses and she added in a few charming smiles.

So what does everyone think? Will she knock those Toads out of the way to make way for a few nice guys? Let’s hear from you and show her a little support! If we are nice enough, perhaps she’ll give us an update every so often!

Tell us what you think :)

Online Dating Bootcamp Extreme Profile Makeover I

Posted on by
2

YourTango Bootcamp guys and gals – this one’s for you! An extreme profile makeover!

Online Dating Profile still tricky no matter how many tips you read? Do you need an example of how a fun, flirty profile gets designed?

A favorite client of mine, lets call her Dyna(mo) was struggling through the Wonderful Online Dating world that I lovingly call The Toad Kingdom. She’s a fascinating woman with so much to offer. BUT … she was attracting all the wrong men.

Men still wanting to be breast fed …

Men still living in Mom’s basement …

Men seen on last night’s America’s Most Wanted …

She asked me to take a peek into her profile and help her figure out what she could do better (she even said I could share it with you – WOOT!).

Ms. Dyna is a lively, comedic young woman of barely 40, so she wanted to attract a man with a great deal of passion and energy in his life. Thinking that meant younger, she wrote towards Generation-Y. Nothing at all wrong with that, but if you are looking for James Bond he was a bit older. 

As you will see from the profile, the handsome Gen-Xers and borderline Boomers were missing out on a fabulous broad based on misperception of immaturity …

Ms Dyna writes …

I live a quiet life in a small, village in the mountains with my 2 dogs (it’s my cover, really)… As being in the big city fuels my energy and and fascination with art, culture and above all: CHAOS!    (btw… I am not Italian, I am CANADIAN)

See, I hope to meet someone active with similar interests, for cultivating a friendship and maybe one day a good relationship. BUT OK, in all honestly if you are a mad-scientist (or similar) striving for the greater good for all humanity, carrying the torch with Amnesty International, riding the waves with Greenpeace, a simple Super-Hero, or at least a mutant à la X-Men (I LOVE X-Men), then we shall get along fabulously. As I am “super loyal” and would make an awesome side-kick/partner in crime (the Robin Hood variety), and an edgy kind of accessory to your infinite coolness. But YOU HAVE TO like dogs – specifically my English Setters, (even if they shed their fur all over your trousers, and super-hero gear), because they are MY sidekicks and I love them to bits.

I like to keep active ie. leaping over tall buildings, hiking, running semi-regularly, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle is important to me… (although Sundays I will make an exception as “The Feast of a Canadian’s Sunday Brunch” is sacred.)

I ‘m not permanently ‘nailed down’ to my location so welcome corresponding with Super-Heros of foreign lands – OUTSIDE ITALY, as who knows where life can take you, right? (One sec, I’ll grab my jet-pack.)

As you all see – she cracks me (and herself) up. But we needed to find a balance between the comedic elegance that she actually offers up.

Over the next week, we will examine her  her humor and her goals as well as her human-to-dog ratio. This time next week, she’ll have a shiny new essay to support her gorgeous photos.

Stay tuned …

And if you would like to see another mouthwatering Extreme Makeover – check out the end of my eBook

How to Toad-Proof Your Online Dating Profile now just $2.99 for Kindle and other eReaders. Save 10% with the YourTango Coupon Code PL47Z!

And for a peek at my own journey through the Toad Kingdom, enjoy the first chapter of my memoir – The Art of Toad Kissing - here on the website. I’d love to hear your thoughts on it …

xoxo

Heidi Lee

Little White Online Dating Lies: The Princess and the MLB Player

Posted on by
1

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who was searching for her Prince Charming in the Toad Kingdom of Online Dating. At least she said she was a princess – whether any of the frogs or toads actually believed that she was a 4th cousin 3 times removed from Prince William is a tale for another time.

Across the pond from this princess was her one true frog – her handsome prince. But the two had passed each other on their Online Dating site several times without saying hello. He would peek at her profile to see if she was interested, but his winks fell buried in her inbox under flashy pictures of deceptive Toads.

The princess and the frog searched long and far for each other - suffering many bad dates and broken hearts. And just when the beautiful princess decided to give up, her frog did something drastic to save her. He changed his profile picture from a frog to a Major Leauge Baseball Player, and he caught her eye.

Wait … What? Seriously Heidi Lee, I thought you were joking when you said your Prince Charming (PC) lied in his profile …

All true, dear ones, PC had his own little white lie but it worked. And although he never stated he played in the pros - I led myself to believe that since he posted his primary photo up-to-bat while wearing the Milwaukee Brewers uniform. Well, what would you think?

A picture says a thousand words, and this picture screamed Hottie Hitting a Homer! I finally noticed him because he took it upon himself to catch my eye. I emailed back, and he turned from frog to Prince Charming after our first kiss. And we lived Happily-Ever-After.

Did he play for the Brewers? Yes, actually he had – at Spring Fantasy Camp. The trip had been the vacation of a lifetime for PC. He was coached by some of his heroes in a game that he loved. And fortunately for us, he had some wonderful pictures that demanded my attention. He made himself interesting.

The lesson, then, for my Citizens in the Toad Kingdom – be interesting. Catch someone’s eye with a picture or a statement that invites conversation. Use action in your pictures and your writing to give your suitors something to talk about.

Do you have a picture of yourself in a tiara? Maybe you could strike up that conversation of royalty … My friend Rosie did which you can see in my free eBook on How to Toad-Proof your Online Dating Profile. Check her out, and see what ideas spring to mind to create interest in your Online Dating Profile.

And if you’ve got a quick question, just ask. Send me an email - I answer all questions in the Toad Kingdom personally.

April Toad Of The Month

Posted on by
4

Species Name: Spineless Door-Mattius

  • Common Name(s): Pushover Toad / Matt
  • Species Description: Easily identifiable by the gelatinous back side, this species typically has a fat wallet and thin self-esteem. Pushover’s baggage is well beyond what he carries for his host through the mall. Monogamous to a fault, this toad often sadly finds himself pushed out of the host’s nest by the vertebraed-varieties of toad.
  • Mating Calls: “Did you want the Movado to go with that necklace? I can buy you both pairs so you don’t have to choose …” And “Will a new pair of shoes help your headache go away tonight?” or the worst croak of all …  “Of course, Sir, you can cut in …”
  • Habitat and Distribution: Typically found in protective mode on mall benches, camouflaged by colorful bags and tucking away receipts. The stronger of this particular species may burrow in so deep that he finds permanent dwellings. 
  • Distinguishing Characteristics: Easily identifiable by the natural castration, unmistakable battle marks scar the translucent outer skin. Fat wallet filled with Platinum replaced the testicles and acts as a natural defense mechanism. When faced with a stressed environment or fraternal enemy, the blinding reflections from the multitude of plastic creates momentary confusion in the attacker – allowing pushover to move his host out of range of the stronger Toad species such as Freeloader Toad.
  • Symptoms of Infestation: Hosts are most susceptible to Mattius following a few rounds playing caretaker to the Tuberius varieties as the frustration resulting from playing wet nurse often weakens defense mechanisms against the Platinum wallet. This toad latches on to the host female by creating a gem-induced euphoria that – if left untreated – becomes delusional misconceptions of love. The passionless, familial intimate connection; the host female often begins fantasizing about the mating calls from the Deranged Militantius to satisfy the reproductive needs not able to be met by the castrated Door-Mattius.

Friends, I realize that we all have a unique fondness for this creature – but do both you and him a service. If there is no attraction, cut him loose – otherwise he preys too much on your weakness for shoes – and you end up in a game of sex for guilt.

Trust me … The right guy builds you a shoe closet instead …

Meet the Other Toads …

Hoping For Love – Try Soul Surgery

Posted on by
7

Hoping for Love but feel lost? When you don’t know what you’re looking for, it makes it so much more difficult to find it!

Have you ever heard of the expression: What you focus on grows? 

Turns out, this is particularly true when it comes to dating.  If you wander into online dating without a clue of why you are there or what you hope to accomplish, you will attract a lot of toads, men who also have no idea why they are trying to find a date.

That’s why I recommend that you spend some serious time focusing on yourself, where you are in life and what your highest priorities are BEFORE you drag someone else into your life.  This may seem like common sense, but these days, common sense is NOT so common.

I know of what I speak.  When my marriage fell apart in my forties, I felt pretty disillusioned with love in general, and my ex in particular.  Part of me wanted to go out there and finally find the love of my life.  But when I was painfully honest with myself, I realized I had major doubts if love even existed in our world today.  I figured, I’m in my forties and I’ve never seen it yet.  Is it just an illusion?

Then I started my own local dating service and learned I was not alone.  Most of my clients felt the same way.  We all knew we had caught glimpses of love through various relationships, but we still wondered.  And yet we were also certain that finding love was our highest priority now.  We wanted to believe, but were not certain.

This mystery and uncertainty led me to finally call up a beau from college, a man I hadn’t spoken to in over twenty-five years!  This took some serious courage, but I was that desperate to understand how my past disillusionment with love had led me to this place.

Somehow, through a month or so of discussions with my old lover, I reached a place of emotional catharsis.  One day I woke up and just knew I was through being held back by my past shame.  I felt the great weight of my past lift and then I knew I was ready to love again!

This process I now call soul surgery.  Sometimes we need to revisit our past, mend feelings and tie up loose ends, before we are ready to move on.  Call it karma or whatever you must, but as soon as you find clarity about your past, your present goals will feel so much more focused.

A few months later I did meet the love of my life through Match.com.  He was the first man I met through my profile.  He winked, I e-mailed him back, and a few days later we spent our first date talking for ten hours!  Seven years later, we still enjoy each other completely!