Toad Kissing – The Memoir

What’s all of this about Kissing Toads, anyways? Well, friends, here is my secret passion … my writing and my manuscript … And the inspiration for all that I write to you and for you here, my lovelies.

Today is so exciting for me – I’m thrilled to be able to share a peek at my Memoir, The Art of Toad Kissing, with my Dear Friends in the Toad Kingdom!

As I write here – so do I edit over there – working diligently with my charming editor to bring Toad to life …

Without further ado … The Art of Toad Kissing, The Prologue Wish me luck in my literary journey ;)

xoxo

Master Toad Kisser Heidi Lee

I’ve kissed the toads so you won’t have to …

If you like what you read, sign up for The Toad Kingdom Times – I’ll shoot you news from the Kingdom.

Master Toad Kisser

Author, Blogger, Online Dating Expert and Master Toad Kisser, Heidi Lee, is a 40-something professional who managed to successfully navigate the Toad Kingdom. Finding Happily-Ever-After wasn’t easy – experiences ranged from humorous, to tense and straight into frightening. However, she did it, and she developed some simple rules to help others guide their way to meeting others.

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5 Low Profile Online Dating Strategies at CupidsPulse

Cupids Pulse welcomed an article for the Celebrity Toad Kingdom, Friends! Hop on over to their pond and take a peek. I’m thrilled with the positive energy being shared in the comments. Would love to hear from the Citizens of the Toad Kingdom as well!

Turns out, we are all Celebrities in our own way.

Can you guess who the debut Celebrity Toad  was? Click Here to read all about it!

Side note … want to meet another Celebrity? Check out Used Car Salesman Toad over with my friends at YourTango.com

xoxo   Heidi Lee

Master Toad Kisser

Author, Blogger, Online Dating Expert and Master Toad Kisser, Heidi Lee, is a 40-something professional who managed to successfully navigate the Toad Kingdom. Finding Happily-Ever-After wasn’t easy – experiences ranged from humorous, to tense and straight into frightening. However, she did it, and she developed some simple rules to help others guide their way to meeting others.

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Religion And Its Place In Online Dating: A Reader Question

Religion got you perplexed on Match.com or eHarmony? Need to know how to use the canned, I’ll tell you later response instead?

Is finding someone within your same religion important to you, or are you open to a mixed-faith relationship?

Consider these important questions choosing an Online Dating – the sites aren’t all the same.

My reader last week struggled with how to answer Religion in a profile that she had already purchased. I’d advise answering this question yourself Before you commit to your site of choice. Here’s why …

Dear Heidi Lee,

Now that I’ve got a mouth-watering Online Dating essay, I’m trying answer the other questions. The site asks about religion, and the options let me either declare my faith or choose an option like “I’ll tell you later.”

How do I answer this? I mean, I was raised Catholic but I’m not practicing. Is that going to turn men off? Geez – this stuff is like rocket science. Help!

Thanks in advance, Gina.

I did send Gina a private note to help her on her way, but she allowed me to share her question with you, my kindred spirits in the Toad Kingdom.

This question isn’t yet well addressed in the Mainstream Toad Kingdom. We are left dangling to figure it our for ourselves.

While Gina is Catholic, she doesn’t meet the stereotypes built in to the Mainstream. And like it or not, we all make assumptions. 

Selecting Catholic on a Mainstream site may eliminate her from  Searches where men (or women) may mistakenly assume Catholic translates to Devout. If the other person makes  the religion a deal-breaker,  this sweet girl won’t make it to his search engine.

See the challenge?

Mainstream sites are mainstream for a reason – to suit the majority. Personally, I used Mainstream because I was open to meeting people from outside of my religion – and in 2007 / 2008 the Niche sites were not as widely known.

In the Religion box, I marked Christian, but I didn’t make it a must have in my potential match. I was open to all religions whether Christian, Jewish or Buddhist.

For the record, my Prince Charming used “Spiritual but not Religious”.

I dated a Toad who happened to bea devout Catholic. He was very unhappy to meet me after an online email flirtation to find that my choice of Christian Faith was Lutheran. He simply was not open to dating a Protestant and he jumped to the assumption that Christian meant Catholic.

For my ex-Toad – who to my knowledge is still Single & Looking, I would recommend a Niche site rather than Mainstream because finding a like-minded Catholic girl was his First Priority – even if it was not clearly stated.

If dating within the Christian faith was my dealbreaker, I may have sought love on ChristianMingle.com Either way, these Niche sites serve to improve your chances at finding long-lasting love.

Gina’s question also sent me to a lovely memory from last year - a trip that I took to Napa Valley with my Prince Charming. We enjoyed a wine tasting tour with a lovely couple who met on a Muslim dating site. They simply glowed together, and I hope that they found love.

She explained to me that finding a single, Muslim man with a good job and a great heart was not easy as a successful Muslim woman in Texas – and he was willing to travel to meet someone who shared his beliefs. They used MuslimFriends.com, but I also found  ArabLounge.com for my Muslim readers.

Finally, Jewish Citizens of the Toad Kingdom may want to look at JDate.com to find stunning men and women who share their own core value system.

The great news is that there are sites for everyone from Animal Lovers to Adulterers – and everything in between. The odds of finding love increase significantly if you select a site that targets your preferred dating pool.

Loving Regards,

Heidi Lee

P.S. I’m happy to answer Questions from the Toad Kingdom. Each question gets a personal response. I may even feature it as as article (although names are only revealed with your permission)

P.S.S. I must state that this article is written to educate on real-world challenges that center around religion – based on a personal experience. That’s it. I’m not picking on anyone :)

 

Master Toad Kisser

Author, Blogger, Online Dating Expert and Master Toad Kisser, Heidi Lee, is a 40-something professional who managed to successfully navigate the Toad Kingdom. Finding Happily-Ever-After wasn’t easy – experiences ranged from humorous, to tense and straight into frightening. However, she did it, and she developed some simple rules to help others guide their way to meeting others.

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Online Dating Questions: When To Favorite Your Favorites

Questions in Online Dating … From the Toad Kingdom …

“Curious to hear your thoughts on “favourite-ing” or the “-insert name here’ wants to meet you!” functions on some of the sites.” my lovely, virtual new friend recently inquired.

She continues to explain, “I don’t personally use this kind of contact initiation method. I feel it’s it’s a bit of a ‘lazy way’ (passive agressive even, maybe) to make contact. Still, I’d like to hear the expert’s take on it!”

The little known favorite feature is also one of the most misunderstood and overly abused. True and honest in purpose, this handy resource is bastardized into a stalker’s dream – and covered in Toad tracks.

But, my Dear Friends, favoriting a potential Match should be seen as a compliment when used appropriately. So, how can you tell intentions between a frog and a toad?

Remember, first and foremost, Toads Lurk … and then they infest …

Toads will view your profile many times over without ever initiating contact. Toads will show up in your recent views each day, but they will never send a wink. They will wait for you to make the first move – to wave them in towards the finish line.

However, newbies in the Toad Kingdom – as well as busy professionals – depend upon the favorite feature to help them discover and re-find interesting people they happen upon.

Newbies to the Toad Kingdom need a little leniency. Think back to when you were fresh. You felt like you were in a candy store, right? Did you put a mental note on your favorite bin of gummy worms to come back to it? After you’ve seen what else was available?

This is perfectly acceptable for the youngsters. However, I would caution the little ones of the time factor. If you favorite  someone, be sure to connect within 48 hours. Otherwise you appear to be a creepy stalker-toad. The tool works against you. If you favorite someone, reach out and flirt – as soon as you are ready. And if you decide against it, unmark him or her as soon as you decide so they don’t get the heebie jeebies from you.

Next – the busy professional – this was me. When I was surfing the Toad Kingdom, I would sneak on occasionally between meetings. If I found someone I wanted to meet, I would mark him as a favorite -  with every intention of sending a flirt, a wink or a note at my first opportunity (and within the 48 hours). I just didn’t want to rush into a poorly thought first note, and I hoped to return to the profile at my first opportunity/

My husband Prince Charming, however naive, never knew that using the favorite feature became visible to the other people. He was likely mistaken often for a Toad.

Important to note – at least on Match.com – when you favorite a prospect he or she can see that you have done so. Use this feature sparingly.

So, my Dear friend, passive-aggressive? Maybe the Toads … Keep an eye out for how long you stay in such apparent high esteem (you will – I’ve seen your pics, honey). Give them a chance to step up.

Caution, though, don’t you reach out. That is a sure-fire way to help them hide their true intentions. If you find yourself honored with the favorite feature, wait it out. A toad can’t hide his warts forever. But your Prince might just be crafting his words in courtship – totally true if seemingly corny …

Warmest Regards,

Heidi Lee

For Cakes: May your adventures in the Toad Kingdom bring humor to your writing and wisdom in knowing when to kick’em in the balls … And may you come back to me to share in a Toad Survival sisterhood …

Master Toad Kisser

Author, Blogger, Online Dating Expert and Master Toad Kisser, Heidi Lee, is a 40-something professional who managed to successfully navigate the Toad Kingdom. Finding Happily-Ever-After wasn’t easy – experiences ranged from humorous, to tense and straight into frightening. However, she did it, and she developed some simple rules to help others guide their way to meeting others.

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