Reese Witherspoon, I’m happy to say, has an action movie, This Means War, hitting the big screen about O
nline Dating. In her upcoming film, she plays a Citizen of the Toad Kingdom where she juggles 2 dashing men who also happen to be …
- Best Friends
- Undercover Spies
Does it get any better?
Recently interviewed about the upcoming movie, Reese posed a question to the Toad Kingdom …
“”I have never dated two people at the same time… Is it OK for a woman to do that? I have no judgement on people who do, as long as they are honest.”
Reese, I’ll be first in line to see your movie. I’d love to thank you for using your Celebrity status to bring such a timely and important question to the Toad Kingdom.
The answer … Absolutely and without doubt! We have to kiss a few frogs to meet our Prince Charming. Just because we have dinner with Tim on Friday night doesn’t mean that we have to turn down seeing This Means War with Ryan on Saturday. Just be sure to keep each of their personal details sorted.
In the Online Dating world, you will communicate with many people by design. You will likely want to meet a handful of those people to determine if you have any chemistry – and that takes more than 1 date to make a commitment.
Thinking that you’ve found a life long commitment from an email chain is naive at best – and exploring multiple prospects is sort of an unspoken expectation that we pretend to ignore. You don’t ask – I don’t tell – capiche?
But … this dynamic does not give you carte blanche to date multiple people for extended periods in time. That is where you become a <insert bad word here>.
One of my clients is in this very situation. Ok – so the guys aren’t International spies, but she has 2 or 3 hotties whose company she enjoys. She is in early stages of her investigation.
Needing direction in one of our weekly calls, she asked, ”Heidi Lee, I’m really starting to like this guy, and I know he feels the same about me. But I have dates lined up next week with 2 other men with whom I’ve been emailing. When is it Not OK to date multiples?”
Folks, I found my very own Prince Charming (PC) while dating multiples. When PC asked me out, I had dinner plans with a Detective and a Marketing Manager already on my calendar. But the moment I knew that PC was for me, I ended all other potential relationships.
(By the way, that moment was actually on our first date, and we’re now happily married for almost 2 years).
So rule of thumb – it’s really a gut check. I ask my client two questions,
- Would this great guy feel betrayed if he knew you were out with someone else, or would he simply be competitively jealous?
- If the tables were turned, would you feel betrayed to see him on a date with another woman?
Dear ones, the When and How to commit to dating just one person is subjective. The important lesson 
I hope you take from the 3.37 minutes you spent reading is - in today’s world – you are not a tramp or any other derogatory word for filling your dance card. You are simply a woman (or man) who is smart enough to look at all options. If you can keep up, go for it. Have fun.
Reese, thanks for being a positive voice for Online Dating. Any guy who would have met you online would clearly have been very lucky.
Citizens, let’s hear from you. Do you agree with this, or am I off my rocker? Do we have to limit ourselves to just 1 at a time, or can we keep our choices open?
Warm Regards,
Heidi Lee
Get your Free Copy of my book – Click Below
How to Toad Proof your Online Dating Profile
P.S. I’m hoping for a wedding invite from the yet unmarried. I’ll keep you informed!
Master Toad Kisser
Author, Blogger, Online Dating Expert and Master Toad Kisser, Heidi Lee, is a 40-something professional who managed to successfully navigate the Toad Kingdom. Finding Happily-Ever-After wasn’t easy – experiences ranged from humorous, to tense and straight into frightening. However, she did it, and she developed some simple rules to help others guide their way to meeting others.
Follow Me:
It’s a fine line. I can easily obsess on 1 person. I dated several at a time being honest with all parties (this avoided any possibility of obsessing). It is beyond my control who the person I’d end up being in a committed relationship with. Just don’t have sex with those one is dating. This is what screws everything up. When the right person presented themselves it was obvious.
I couldn’t have said it better, oh Wise One! And when Sex enters into the picture – Absolutely! Thanks for sharing!
One? – no way! Gotta be smart about it. Do we buy the first car we take for a spin?
great post!
Nice – sweet Ms Cakes – nice. I knew you’d see things my way
So…what advice would you give to dating spysters?
Leave it to you, Dear Nelle, to throw a challenge my direction. Alright, dating two best friends who also happen to be lethal international spies … and the challenges within. Let me get back to you