Questions in Online Dating … From the Toad Kingdom …
She continues to explain, “I don’t personally use this kind of contact initiation method. I feel it’s it’s a bit of a ‘lazy way’ (passive agressive even, maybe) to make contact. Still, I’d like to hear the expert’s take on it!”
The little known favorite feature is also one of the most misunderstood and overly abused. True and honest in purpose, this handy resource is bastardized into a stalker’s dream – and covered in Toad tracks.
But, my Dear Friends, favoriting a potential Match should be seen as a compliment when used appropriately. So, how can you tell intentions between a frog and a toad?
Remember, first and foremost, Toads Lurk … and then they infest …
Toads will view your profile many times over without ever initiating contact. Toads will show up in your recent views each day, but they will never send a wink. They will wait for you to make the first move – to wave them in towards the finish line.
However, newbies in the Toad Kingdom – as well as busy professionals – depend upon the favorite feature to help them discover and re-find interesting people they happen upon.
Newbies to the Toad Kingdom need a little leniency. Think back to when you were fresh. You felt like you were in a candy store, right? Did you put a mental note on your favorite bin of gummy worms to come back to it? After you’ve seen what else was available?
This is perfectly acceptable for the youngsters. However, I would caution the little ones of the time factor. If you favorite someone, be sure to connect within 48 hours. Otherwise you appear to be a creepy stalker-toad. The tool works against you. If you favorite someone, reach out and flirt – as soon as you are ready. And if you decide against it, unmark him or her as soon as you decide so they don’t get the heebie jeebies from you.
Next – the busy professional – this was me. When I was surfing the Toad Kingdom, I would sneak on occasionally between meetings. If I found someone I wanted to meet, I would mark him as a favorite - with every intention of sending a flirt, a wink or a note at my first opportunity (and within the 48 hours). I just didn’t want to rush into a poorly thought first note, and I hoped to return to the profile at my first opportunity/
My husband Prince Charming, however naive, never knew that using the favorite feature became visible to the other people. He was likely mistaken often for a Toad.
Important to note – at least on Match.com – when you favorite a prospect he or she can see that you have done so. Use this feature sparingly.
So, my Dear friend, passive-aggressive? Maybe the Toads … Keep an eye out for how long you stay in such apparent high esteem (you will – I’ve seen your pics, honey). Give them a chance to step up.
Caution, though, don’t you reach out. That is a sure-fire way to help them hide their true intentions. If you find yourself honored with the favorite feature, wait it out. A toad can’t hide his warts forever. But your Prince might just be crafting his words in courtship – totally true if seemingly corny …
For Cakes: May your adventures in the Toad Kingdom bring humor to your writing and wisdom in knowing when to kick’em in the balls … And may you come back to me to share in a Toad Survival sisterhood …