Social Media – friend or foe in online dating? When should you send or accept a Friend Request?

Let me put out a couple of my past situations and let you be the judge.

Oh, and here is a little game for you – have fun with it. Feel free to chastise my bad behavior as you find my many mistakes woven within. I’ve learned so much since my earliest days in the Toad Kingdom that I am happy to have you poke a little fun back. We’ll call this a learning experience in reverse – just post in the comments when you see a big No-No.

Scenario #1

Heidi Lee – new to the Toad Kingdom – was enthralled with a gentleman with whom she had been emailing for about 2 days - let’s call him Ralph.

Ralph and Heidi Lee decided that they were clearly headed for true love, and they chose to move to the telephone. Ralph asked Heidi Lee what time would be good to give her a call, and they agreed to about 9:00 PM.

Waiting eagerly by her home phone, it rang at precisely 8:59:38 PM. She was so excited she barely waited for the second chime.

Ralph and Heidi Lee talked and romanced into the late hours of the night, and even decided to swap more of their pictures through Facebook. Check out this move …

“Hey, Heidi Lee, I’m trying to friend you on Facebook. What’s the last name? I’m trying to send you a Friend Request. I’ve got some great pictures from that camping trip I was telling you about. I’d love for you to see the bear in the woods.” Ralph offered.

“Oh, Ralph, I can’t wait to see it.” she gushed. “Here’s the link.”

Friends, let’s jump ahead to the first meeting …

… On second thought, let’s jump right past it. It was simply unbearable, and I never wanted to see the creepy man again.

Follow up voicemail from Ralph went something like this …

“Heidi Lee, I love that we had so much banter and energy. Sorry about the purse situation. Can we grab dinner tomorrow night?”

I responded to Ralph’s voicemail by email letting him know that I was busy as well as not interested. However, I forgot to unfriend him. This didn’t matter, though, because I had made so many mistakes that he already knew my first and last name as well as how to find me. Crap!

Needless to say, I spent the next couple of weeks in Hell with unwanted phone calls and emails. I even suspected a drive by or 2 past my street.

Eventually, Friends, Ralph did get the hint. But why did I open myself up to such torture?

Oh, that’s right. Clearly I thought I’d met my soulmate over an email exchange.

See there – I hope you don’t feel bad if you’ve made similar mistakes. We’ve all done it.

Now let’s look at a more knowledgeable and mature Citizen within the Toad Kingdom …

Scenario 2:

“Honey, I’m home. How did the phone call go with the musicians? Did you decide on the String Quartet?”, PC asked Heidi Lee as she was putting dinner on the table.

“PC, I’m really frustrated with the wedding planning – specifically with your friends. I’ve never met any of them, and I have no idea what to do with the seating arrangements. Do you think I could reach out to Lisa in an email?”

Heidi Lee inquired with a new realization … “Sweetie, I don’t think I would even know how to get in touch with Lisa. I’ve never even friended you on Facebook. Are you on there?”

Get the picture?

Ok, so these are 2 extremes, but general guidelines do exist.

First, never friend the prospect before you’ve met and established a face-to-face level of comfort.

If you’ve met a couple of times and decided that perhaps you may have found a friendship rather than a romance (frog situation), a friend request is appropriate,

If you’re getting ready for a 3rd or 4th date and still excited about how holding his hand feels, go ahead if it feels right.

But, how awkward would you feel if you decide he simply isn’t for you? Would you want him to feel bad watching you change your Relationship Status to In A Relationship if the link went to another man’s page?

Use good judgement with your social media accounts, Dear Citizens of the Toad Kingdom. And when in doubt, ask me. You can always post a question in the comments. Or you can submit more privately. I’m happy to give a little guidance.

Kind Regards,

Heidi Lee

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P.S. May I share something that I am celebrating? EHarmony recently published an article that was inspired by you, Dear Friends, in the Toad Kingdom.

I’d love your feedback on Creating Your Stationery …as we know posting photos within your Party Invitation.