Valentines Day Warning
Dear Citizens of the Toad Kingdom, I must give you special warning as we enter the Month of Love – February.
This is the month where this Toad finds an abundance of Hosts, and the hopelessly lovelorn fall prey to infestation.
Beware Valentines - February Toad Of The Month!
Species Name: Don Juanis Debonairus
- Common Name: Romantic Intruder
- Species Description: Apparent wounded soul with a poetic croak, Debonairus is sultry and emotional. He lures potential hosts with promises yet unfulfilled – committing to monogamy when initially entranced - but ultimately elusive to deep or true connection.
- Mating Calls: Truly, Mon Cherie, how misunderstood I feel. My sensitivity is so often mistaken for romantic manipulation. All I want is to be loved, and to feel the exhilaration of loving you deeply, wholely, completely. You’ve taken my heart captive – be gentle.
- Habitat and Distribution: Drawn to athletic fields and hockey rinks, the most dashing species is found nearby the preferred host Soccer Mom environment …
- Distinguishing Characteristics: Commonly mistaken for a smoother frog rather than true toad, his warts cover his tongue rather than his outer flesh. The slicker touch of his skin acts as a natural aphrodisiac. Robust croaks – seeming to originate in the lower belly – actually flow naturally and without second thought.
- Symptoms of Infestation: Lulled into a hypnotic state, victims of the Romantic Intruder fall curse to the lapping from a rolling tongue that carries a strain of warts for which no cure has been found. Immediate isolation is required when symptoms are recognized, and the victim suffers chronically when infected. Unlike the poison from Freeloader Toad that leaves a bitter anger, when the host is rescued from Debonairus, she is left with remniscent thoughts of what might have been – the effects of the poison so powerful that as a victim, one truly never admits to being infested.
Friends, I beg you … Heed my warning, and please feel free to share your own experiences with this foul little critter. We, the Citizens of the Toad Kingdom need this knowledge! (Share with your Twitter Firends too … Help them out!)
Warmest Regards
Heidi Lee
Want help avoiding this nasty little Toad online?
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P.S. I’m hoping for a wedding invite from the yet unmarried. I’ll keep you informed!
Master Toad Kisser
Author, Blogger, Online Dating Expert and Master Toad Kisser, Heidi Lee, is a 40-something professional who managed to successfully navigate the Toad Kingdom. Finding Happily-Ever-After wasn’t easy – experiences ranged from humorous, to tense and straight into frightening. However, she did it, and she developed some simple rules to help others guide their way to meeting others.
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You can also find the “invisible DJD toads” lurking everywhere online, dating sites, facebook etc… hiding behind their iphones and laptops – the misunderstood cerebral “Keyboard Romeos” (I usually fall for the creative genius types) the ones that give you all the scenarios about what you can do together and how it will be when you eventually hook up face to face because he “can’t wait to meet you.”(BUT he can’t right now because he is moving or has a huge, important work project”)
Sometimes you may suspect they are a player because you will see them logged into the dating sites after they say they are going to bed – but hey! it’s not their fault! As the dating site application just logges them in “randomly and automatically” from their iphones! Sure, that is why they buy “premium member” upgrades on a FREE dating site. In my opinion: “premium member = total player” and they are just collecting women in their peanut gallery to spoon feed their egos.
Don’t get duped by the “string along”… if after you exchange emails and he doesn’t call you (sometimes they are too busy to call or email and keep you waiting for a few days) or arrange a meeting within a week, max 2 (depending on how far u live apart) cancell his ass!!!!
DJD? Ha – Love it! Toads’ gone Acronym.
Cakes, always an honor and a smile when you pop in. Thanks again for sharing! I can’t wait to see the Toads you share with us.
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