Sunglasses on a man can be truly sexy, and a sultry afternoon at the beach is the perfect place to absorb yourself in the mystery of the Golden Adonis behind the dark shades, curling his toes in the sand. But an Online Dating Profile is no place to sport your latest Ray-bans. Eyes reveal honesty, soul, and yes – identity.

I lived in a relatively small town – population 70,000 when I took a giant leap into Online Dating. I also worked at one of the largest employers in the Fox Valley, which meant that introducing my photos to the Online Toad Kingdom had the potential to connect my personal dating needs to the men within my office.

Not to say that I was never guilty of dipping my pen in the company ink, but when I dated a co-worker it was by my choice and with full disclosure with each other. One morning early on in my online dating adventures, I saw photographic artistry displaying my  very own version of the Sunglass-Enhanced Golden Adonis. My heart leaped. He winked, and I winked back. With that tiny bit of encouragement, he began courting me through a string of email conversations. We spoke about sushi, wine and the performing arts. I was simply entranced.

Keep in mind, this man’s profile displayed stunning pictures of a man in his prime, and his trademark sunglasses were in every photo. I never saw his face. Although I felt a connection to Adonis, I had never revealed to him any identifying information about my true name or where I worked.  This is why the morning that I found a rose and a poem at my desk in the office I was caught so off guard.

Just as I settled in to read more, Adonis came walking towards me – the fluorescent overheads encircling him with an angelic glow that one might expect when meeting the man of her dreams. Surely I was hallucinating and living within my own fantasies – until he planted his very real,overly invasive tush right in the center of my desk .

My blood curdled as he began to remove the sunglasses. What was behind the mask, you ask? The reptilian, twitchy-eyed Accounting Guy who always seemed to accidentally brush his hand across my chest when leaning in for a closer look at the Profit & Loss statement. Icky!

“So, Heidi Lee, I’m thrilled that you’re interested. I always thought that my flirtatious mannerisms turned you off – although I certainly fantasized about a couple of rolls with you. Your emails on Catch.” he ogled on as my skin started to creep.

…And he continued, “I get it, Doll. You were  so taken by me that you had to insist on maintaining a professional distance. No worries, I can be discreet, baby. How about some sushi?”

And now, whenever I think of sushi, I feel the vein in my forehead twitching as if it may  be ready to explode.

Lesson Learned: If he’s hiding behind a mask – there is surely a reason for it. No sunglasses in photos, Please! Help us all to avoid the awkward and maybe even downright invasive.

And a special little tidbit takeaway for newer citizens of the Toad Kingdom – people on these sites are entitled to professional courtesy should worlds collide. BAD FORM to approach someone at the office whom you see on Catch.com.

Master Toad Kisser

Author, Blogger, Online Dating Expert and Master Toad Kisser, Heidi Lee, is a 40-something professional who managed to successfully navigate the Toad Kingdom. Finding Happily-Ever-After wasn’t easy – experiences ranged from humorous, to tense and straight into frightening. However, she did it, and she developed some simple rules to help others guide their way to meeting others.

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